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11.05.2018

Three Decades In...


I turned 30 this past weekend...

Admittedly, I had a really hard time with this.  Leaving one decade behind and beginning a new one.  So yes, I started lathering on the creams and looking for every product that made the promise of turning back the clock – because who wants those fine lines around the eyes?!  And as I always do when I’m stressed, I started cleaning and organizing.  Getting rid of the 5 inch heels that I rocked at my 21stbirthday party and the pirate Halloween costume I wore at my 24th birthday party in Vegas that my now-husband, then-boyfriend found wayyyyy too attractive.  And then I came to this tight and oh so short little number – an Herve Leger dress I bought post breakup from my college boyfriend and started to question – do we as women seem to place this weird stereotype on turning 30?!

Yes, maybe my skin does have some more fine lines and maybe I can’t lose those lbs. as easily as I could 10 years ago.  But ultimately, there are no rules for this new decade; we’re only wiser and we shouldn’t be pressured, whether socially or internally, to morph into something we’re not. So I kept that tight, short Herve Leger number.

At 30 I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a writer, an attorney, a creator, an editor, a blogger, a youtuber and a business woman.  But the real beauty of becoming 30 is that I’ve realized these titles, the same ones that either made me feel powerful by having them or inadequate if I didn’t possess it, give me no more or less worth.  None of them determine my happiness, strengths, success or my future.

Instead turning 30 has provided me a more sense of self.  A becoming of me.  And in turn I feel free.  Free of all expectations I or others have set upon me.  Free of all titles.  And most importantly free of all the thoughts that my na├»ve 20-year-old self determined would equate happiness and success upon turning 30.  

I have learned that this life is a rollercoaster ride and you need to go through the highs and lows before you can get off.  I have learned to trust the process more so than the plan, because, realistically nothing ever goes to plan, yet always ends up just as it should.  I have learned that happiness is settled into those moments with my family and friends but also those quiet moments with myself…all of which will pass me if I’m not mentally present.  And I have that success comes in all shapes and sizes and I should celebrate the little victories in my career that really don’t matter to anyone but me.  And I have learned that that’s alright.

I’m excited to see what else I’ll learn this year and this decade.  I have a feeling it’s only going to get better from here.

Thank you to all my family and friends who have celebrated with me and who have sent me birthday wishes via calls, texts, DMs and comments.  You all mean the world to me.  Thank YOU!

xx, Neghin

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